Do you sometimes yell at your kids? Do you say bad words which you later regret and wish that you shouldn’t have said them in the first place? When you are mean to your little one because of anything that he/she has done, you have to curb yourself and abstain from saying anything wrong. Because, if you don’t, later you’ll be wondering if your kid loves you or not. Moreover, your child can even go into depression because of how you behave with him/her.
You would have heard phrases like – “wait until your dad comes home” or “I really wish you were like your sibling” and more. These words are harsh and very hard on your little one’s mind to handle. That’s not it! There are many other things that you should never say to your little one and make them anxious kids.
This blog details you about 7 things you should never say to your kids.
1. Leave me alone
The very first thing that parents need to stop saying to their kids is – Leave me alone. It is understood that parents need some time off from all the chores, but that doesn’t mean you tell your little ones to stay away from you because you need some time. Leaving you alone would also mean that they are left alone without you. When you keep your kids at a distance, they eventually get distanced from you.
2. You’re okay
Let’s take an example, your kid comes home hurt and is bleeding. While consoling him, you carry on telling him that you’re okay. Actually, he is not, he’s hurt and it’s hurting him badly and that’s exactly why he’s not okay. Try giving him a hug and acknowledging what he’s feeling by saying something like, “That was a scary fall.” Then ask whether he’d like a bandage or a kiss (or both). Then he’d be okay.
3. Don’t cry
Don’t cry, don’t be sad, and many other variations to don’t be sorry that you need to stop saying to your little minds. If you child cries often and is sad, you shouldn’t tell him that don’t cry. There is a possibility that something might be going in inside them. You should be the effective mother who would comfort them and ask what’s bothering them rather than covering up by saying don’t cry like a baby.
4. Can’t you behave like your sister/brother?
This is probably the racist thing you can say to hurt the emotions of the little ones. Comparisons have never been the thing that little ones like. Well, the elders are not accustomed to comparisons and kids are innocent with a gentle mind. When you say that can’t you behave like your elder brother or sister, it adversely affects their minds. There is a possibility that they try to be like them and in the way get anxious or they become a rebel after being scolded like this numerous times.
5. Stop or I’ll beat you up
Hitting kids is a punishable offense, no matter how you hit them. Moreover, torturing them mentally, physically or emotionally is equally offensive. You can tell them that if you don’t stop, I wouldn’t buy you that tutu dress or that shirt and t-shirt, but don’t raise your hand to them. This is not the way to talk or behave with your kids.
6. Great job
Yeah! This might sound like a source of positive reinforcement for your little one but affects adversely. What comes along as praise makes your little one dependent on the praise or you saying a great job every time they do something. In fact, they’d do it to get your attention on them, which is not good. You should praise the way they do things rather than what they do.
7. Let me help you
Your kid is trying to finish a puzzle and looks stuck somewhere. This is human tendency to help. As a parent, you might want to go up and help him solve the puzzle, but is that good for his efforts? He might look up to for help in the future rather than trying to do things himself. You might throw hints at him when he’s trying to do and help rather than spoon-feeding him.
Do you have any other phrases that you shouldn’t say to your kids? Do let us know and raise confident kids being the parent that your kids deserve.